Euthanasia - so conflicted - need help

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling with what to do for my little Maine Coon. She's 15yrs old and has never been larger than about 10lbs. Now she's down to 6lbs, has arthritis, and in the last six months has dislocated her hip twice. The second dislocation was just last week and she's showed more pain after this one. I have another cat that likes to pick on her but I've been able to keep tabs on that most of the time and he never attacks her when I'm not around (several housemates have told me this). However, she is becoming more and more sensitive and since this last dislocation she hisses and growls if she even thinks the other cat might look at her or think about her. She definitely feels threatened and rightly so as this last dislocation happened while trying to get away from this other cat. I'm concerned that he may be more interested in her because she's vulnerable.

Also, I believe that prior to these dislocations she was drinking a lot more water and peeing more. Her stomach becomes more distended and firm, and she hisses more if I try to pick her up. She also has trouble settling down and getting comfortable when wanting to snuggle with me.

All this being said she still loves to snuggle, can still groom, still using the litter, still eating and drinking (though I believe that has decreased since this latest injury), and generally seems like herself but older and slower/stiffer.

Here's the thing. We have been homeless for a year and 1/2 now. Have been couch surfing at a friends place but in June moved into a very tiny trailer in the woods. She hasn't been able to exercise, though she wasn't much for that anyway, but my point here is that I do not have the money to help her with pain meds or anything of the sort. She also HATES everyone except me though she often bites or scratches me. She always has. So it would be horrible to give her to someone else and I honestly believe it wouldn't be fair to her especially if she's in pain. She needs her mommy.

I'm struggling because the emergency vet said that once the hip pops out twice or three times it becomes very hard, if not impossible, to put it back in and just gets more painful. I don't want that for her and I have been thinking about putting her down for all the reasons above, but at the same time it feels too soon. I'm really having such a hard time with this. If she's in pain, like I think she has to be, and this is the time you would be giving her pain meds etc. to help her, I'm wondering if because I can't do that for her if this is the time. I've been scouring the internet looking for answers and everything says that 15 is old for a maine coon. I also can't tell the future so can't possibly know when her leg might pop out again and I don't really want to have to put her down in an unplanned, rushed, emergency situation. When she goes I want to be there holding her, peacefully and loving her.

One more issue. I'm having trouble finding a place to live because people around here don't want to rent to someone having more than one pet. So her quality of life is a question, as is mine. I hope this wasn't too scattered. Really struggling trying to figure out what is best for her and most humane. And I'm so sad about it.

Thanks.

How sorry I feel for you & your furries & your situation but I suggest you put your "living" situation to one side & think of just your furries situation........ When we take on our pets we know that unless we are very very lucky we are also going to have to make that hard decision at some point for them,it is a right we have & a right they deserve,this is not always at the point where they tell you it is necessary it is at the point where you know quantity of life has more "fors" on it's side then quality......... Never never easy for us but ...... whatever you do has to be right for you & your furry babe but I would hate to think that any vet would put any animal to sleep if they thought true quality of life was still being had & our vets motto is always a day too early is better than a day too late........ Thinking of you at this obviously very difficult time,hugs to you all.......xxx

Iam so sorry to hear of your awful predicament, I agree with jckkerrison. I think you will make the right decision, you know your mc. It is the hardest choice we as cat carers have to make. My thoughts are with you at this time.

Mybaby, As I read your letter I could feel your pain, it breaks my heart to think of the agony you are going through. It is bad enough to be homeless and still need to care for your pets. The hardest thing we have to do is say good bye to our babies. I know you will make the right decision for your pet and yourself. Just remember that when you do, your baby has had a good long happy life and no one can take that away from either of you. Be brave, things will get better with time and God bless.

Thanks guys. I've been thinking about this sentence I'm hearing a lot right now..."you'll make the right decision." Maybe there isn't one "right" decision here but that the decision I make will be right. Watching her today she seems absolutely normal. No blatant signs of pain today. So putting her down just seems cruel and selfish. I'm a ball on a ping pong table it feels like. I've had to put other cats down but never from old age and it was very clear it was time. This one is just so hard to figure out. I guess when it really is time I will know that. Yes, she has had a very good life with me. Though she's hated having siblings over the years she has been safe and healthy and very well loved. Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to me. Still figuring it out. She's 11yrs here.
Attachment 7362

Mybaby, That is a beautiful baby. I think we all use that sentence, because as the saying goes "This is not my first rodeo" I think of the pets I have had and loved and there is not one of them that does not bring tears to my eyes. One day, I will have to say goodbye to Ginger and it will break my heart. But for now, I will love her and take care of her and do the best to make sure she has a happy healthy life, that is all we can do as pet parents. As fellow humans, we can lend a shoulder and give comfort to those that are going through that too. ((((Mybaby))) Hugs to you that it will get better. God bless