A Dog & Cats Diary

> Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
> >
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
> 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing!
> 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
> 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
> 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
> 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
> 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
> 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..
>
>
> Day 983 of my captivity.
> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
>
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
> fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
> the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
> order to keep up my strength.
>
> The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
> attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
> I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
> demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
> I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
> confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
> this means and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
> this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
> The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
> seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
>
> The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
> the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
> captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
> so he is safe. For now................
>