HELP! MY MAINE COON IS BULLYING ME! I am at the end of my rope.

First, I am so sorry this is really long. and I thank anyone who actually reads this! I am really at the end of my rope here with my cat. My Maine Coon, Finn just turned 1 years old last month. Since the day we got him, he's been very mischievous. The breeder who sold him to us didn't run a very good cattery. When I saw him as a new born I felt a connection to him. It probably wasn't the best idea to get a cat from a bad breeder but I felt like I needed to "rescue' him. But to get on with my issues, when we took him home, he was very energetic, always playing and had a big personally. Everything you would expect from a Maine Coon. But in addition to that stuff he began biting us while we were asleep and running on to the bed and trampling us at full speed at 4am, mainly he did this stuff to me. We tried everything from playing with him before bed, feeding him before bed, even closing the bedroom door at night for a while. He meowed and scratched at the door, even head butted the door or threw a fit and began to knock stuff over in the apartment. Finally , we let him back in and tried our best to just ignore him. Then the temper tantrums grew. In the morning before work, he would purposely wreak havoc on our apartment causing us to be late for work. He would literally take his large paws and push the water out from his fountain and splash it all over the floor, then tip it. He also will go in to his litter box and kick out the litter. We took this all as a sign that he may be board and he just may require more attention. So we made the decision to bring home another kitten. I thought his aggression would calm down once he was neutered at about 5 months old but it seems to only get worse. After he was neutered we got Dexter, in December. He is a ragdoll and only 3 months younger than Finn. For the first month, I thought we were going to have to rehome one of the kittens because Finn would literally attack Dexter, pounce on his back and bite the back of his neck and rip his hair out. He was obsessed with mounting Dex and biting him. After about a month, he finally got board with the constant attacks and eased up. They began to cuddle and become best friends. The morning fits to delay us from leaving calmed down But Finns bad habits still persist. He doesn't attack me at night as often, but hes also stopped sleeping with us this past month. We had a nice point in time where both kitties would come and sleep with us all night. Now Dexter usually sleeps by our feet and Finn sleeps in different places around the house. I feel like I have a disobedient dog! Its gotten to the point where we had to buy a plastic doggie travel bowl and get rid of the fountain. Now Finn has chin acne. He doesn't respect our space. If we are trying to cook, Dexter will sit on the floor nicely in the kitchen and watch us. Finn will jump on the counter. We put him down and tell him no, hes right back up. There is no stopping with him. Eventually, he gets mad and attacks my feet or gets on his back legs and latches on to my clothes. I have ripped shirts, ripped socks. ripped pants and even holey underwear from the constant interactions with Finn latching on to me. Yes, I trim his claws bi-weekly. I have spent so much time and money looking in to behavior deterrents. He likes water, so if we use a spray bottle, he is un-phased. We purchased the SSSCAT, it worked for a day. We put it on the kitchen counter while we were at work only to find that he walks right up to it and paws it over. I have 6 different forms of scratching devices. He uses them all but he also uses us too! He's been locked out of our bathroom because he will use all of our towel as a scratching post and I've seen him even pee in the sink! Eating has become a task as well. I cant sit down at a table and eat and I cant cook with him either. I finally broke down tonight and went on here to write this because I was attempting to eat my dinner at the kitchen counter huddled over my plate. I went two steps to the refrigerator to get a drink and he jumped on to my plate to knock my food on to the floor so he can eat it. When I hurried to clean it up he fought me to try and gobble the food down. My work shirt has a fresh rip and my new socks are snagged. Hes very strong and almost 20 lbs. He pushes his weight on me well. If I try to pick him up while hes in his attack mode, he will bite my hands hard. I don't feed him table food. Somehow he wants my food so badly, you would think I had kitty crack on my plate. I leave dry out for him all day. Its not like hes starving. I also feed raw but he only eats it sometimes. He doesn't like really many toys. I think Ive bought just about every toy in the pet store, He plays with a kickeroo but insists on drowning it in his waterbowl. They get ruined very quickly. His favorite toys are the cheap little mousers that rattle. It takes him about 2 hours to completely skin it and chew the plastic until its flat. I bought "da bird" and I am unable to use it with them. He gets very aggressive. He doesn't want Dexter to ever have it. He latches on to the feathers, locks his jaw and growls like a dog if Dexter or anyone comes near him. He literally destroys the brand new refills within minutes by ripping the feathers right out of the base. I feel horrible. Ive tried everything to discipline and calm this cat. Hes so aggressive, I even resorted to grabbing him by the scruff and hissing at him. He is un-phased by everything!!!! I feel bad for Dexter. Finn thinks Dexter is his toy. Dexter will play with Finn but when Finn is in one of his moods, he will jump on Dexters back and bite his scruff or take Dexters favorite toys and rip them apart. I didn't realize a cat could be this spiteful and intelligent. He knows how to frazzle us and push us around. Lately, Ive noticed him trying to have sex with Dexter. I didn't think this was possible for a neutered male, especially since Dex is male too.... until I witnessed him walk up to Dexter and lick the top of his head then latch on to the back of his neck and thrust. I pulled Finn off and saw his penis was out. Dexter meows for help. This happens almost every night for the past 2 months. I don't know what else to do with Finn. I feel like I am losing affection for him. He used to come and sit on my lap and purr everyday. He only does it once in a while now. More often than not, hes walking up to me to latch on and bite, then run away like its a game. He doesn't even respond if I yell "NO" or "OUCH". I feel like I am bullied around my house. I feel guilty for feeling this way about an innocent animal. Is this my fault? Am I a bad owner? I look at him now and hes cuddled on the couch like a little angel. Ive been around cats all my life, none have ever acted like Finn. Any advice, please would be much help. I would be heart broken if I have to rehome him. I know there is a good boy inside of him...I just don't know where we are going wrong in trying to train him to understand that hes hurting me and upsetting me and doing things that I don't want him to do. I don't have any peace unless he's sleeping!

Sounds pretty rough Joey. Check out "My Cat from Hell" on youtube. he might be able to give some pointers, depending on where you live you might even be able to get the behaviourist to come and deal with Finn. Another behaviorist might be in your area. Sorry I can't give you more.

hi Joey - I had a similar experience with mine - yours sounds even worse though I have to admit. She is better now - MUCH better actually she doesn't hunt us any more except playfully and boy can we tell the difference.

here's mine, hopefully you can get something out of it...

We got Neevie, a female Maine Coon, when our darling Charlotte passed away. Charlotte was tiny even for a cat, but many people told us she had a lot of Maine Coon in her - so I assumed I could get the same cat, and got a real Maine Coon - I thought: twice the size, twice the cuddle, heaven! Boy was I wrong.

From the word go Neevie was trouble - she was from a litter of 3 who had been raised by hand because their dam had got an infection so we were able to bring her home 4 weeks before the normal time, since she didn't need to be weened.
That is one thing that can make a cat unstable, by the way.
She was violent when she played - I guess she'd never been told by her mom how to play nice? I don't know. When she was little, her biting was not a problem, we weren't overly worried. But then she grew up and then her hormones started playing. We hadn't spayed her - Charlotte had died on an operating table and I wasn't ready to take the risk.
Then she really started misbehaving and yeah I did feel bullied by my own cat so I know how you feel Joey - Example: Picture the scene if you please: me working at my desk, sitting on a chair. What can only be described as a mini-lynx crawling beside me at the foot of the chair and decides there is something on the top of my head that looks like it wanna be caught and ripped. Mini-Lynx jumps up from the floor, plants her claws in my head and gives it a good bite, hanging by the teeth and claws for a second, then jumps down and looks at me very agressively like "there, who's the boss now?!" I now have more puncture marks on my scalps than a bike tire that's been ridden through a cactus field. It sounds funny when it's not the animal you're supposed to love who does that, right? I know you can relate. My stomach would start making knots when she did that.
So, anyway, this kind of behaviour happened very often - we couldn't walk without our legs being hunted - and when I say hunted, I mean jumped at, and ripped into like it's a piece of ham that's trying to get away - from the moment he got up in the morning, my husband had to watch out for her at all times in case she grabbed his legs and started ripping into them. Naked feet seemed to set her off so we just couldn't walk barefoot in the house.
I couldn't love her. That's the worst thing, you're right, you feel guilty because you can't love the little beasty, I considered giving her up... but there were still times when she was cuddly, and in those times I loved her to bits, but they were scarce and far appart.

we tried spray bottles, it actually worked to shoo her away when she misbehaved but didn't teach her a thing, and we had to walk with a spray bottle at our belt at all times, it seemed a bit silly.
I have to admit, there are times I wanted to wring her neck, and picking her up tenderly when she had just made 2 more puncture marks in my head was very hard. When I could, I would pick her up silently, and put her in time out in the toilets. More often than her I couldn't, I shouted at her, waving my arms around and scaring her into a different room, just slammed the door and calmed down. Anyway, it was war at home.

but THEN we spayed her. OH BOY! It got soooo much worse! I'll pass the few weeks when we went off on holiday and left her home to be looked after by a cattery owner. She was CRAZY. I have a post on that somewhere.
She stayed crazy for the full 3 weeks we were gone.
Then when we came back she gradually started calming down. She still attacked us but less and less often.
Now, 6 months after being spayed, she's calmed down totally. I am not sure if was anything we did, though we did try a lot of thing. Some worked better than others but never fully. There were times when I got depressed, I missed my old cat so much and this one refused to comfort me, I took it very personally.

so here is my take on your situation:
sounds like Finn still has too much testosterone in him for all he's neutered - may be have his blood tested? may be there is some kind of medication for that?
when was he spayed exactly? It took a lot of time for Neevie to get her body clear of the bad stuff. Still you're right I don't think he's supposed to hump when he's been neutered. Check with another vet if may be it's been botched? Sounds like he's got a real hormone problem there.

not sure if it helps him, but to help you and Dexter, when he misbehaves, make him go in another room. I know you will say he is hard to pick up and he's big but he needs to be in another room to calm down. If you can, pick him up - I find with Neeve picking her up by the scruff of the neck works, she stops struggling she can't bite or scratch, and I can then put her in another room and shut the door. Just have to be quick and self assured - it doesn't hurt him it's what his mum would do when he was a baby, and I think it also helps put you in the alpha position if you can do that. I noticed that with Neevie, too.
At the end of the day, you're the alpha in this relationship. He has to know that. In the wild, when you see lions or tigers feed, you see the alpha is first on the scene - THEN he allows the others to feed. Neevie also tried to pick on our plate - Husband let her do that, he found it cute and funny - I think that's a big mistake, we'd argue about it - well I'd argue and he'd laugh... sigh...
Also, try to keep consistent in your approach. If he misbehaves even a bit, first say no, then if he insists even once, he's going in time out. Not a word, just "no" and out. Like a kid. That's what I did with Neevie in the end, not sure if that's what worked, but at least while she was out I could work without watching my back, so I did it as often as possible in the end. Don't think "well it's only a little bit" or "he doesn't understand what he's doing". Misbehave -> "no". Misbehave more -> time out.
I know it's tempting to just shout at him, but to be avoided if you can: being scared of you might also be part of the agression. Cats are not like dogs, you can't really scare them into doing stuff. They do stuff they want, really, you have to make him think he wants it, and simply think that bad behaviour doesn't get him anywhere.
Oh also when we'd have our cuddly moments with Neevie, I started talking to her. About nonsense, you know, telling her about what a good kitty she was, and how I loved her when she was a good girl, stuff like that. I know it sounds like I've lost my mind but I swear she's so much better since I started doing that, it's like she's started bonding with me (2 and a half years on!!) I only started that a month ago.

AND try feliway. If you don't know it, it's a kind of perfume thingy you plug in a socket, it dispenses a calming pheromone - it only works when it's been plugged in a while though, it doesn't work immediately - so don't plug it, expect great things and then unplug it when you see it doesn't work, in Neevie's case it started working only 2 weeks after it was plugged - it should really work to calm him down at least a bit, and every little helps, right? It is expensive, try to get it on Amazone that's the cheapest I have found.

Now, she's fine, she's cuddly when it suits her but at least she's not agressive at all any more - she's very playful but she is also very careful not to hurt us now. She still likes to hunt feet when we're lying down but doesn't really bite, she pinches the skin a bit sometimes but when I say no she stops and look at me like "pff you're no fun", so I know she understands the no now. We stopped being scared of walking in our own home, and I have stopped watching my back when I work at my desk. She's still a pirate, but we have a cat at last, not a lynx any more.

I hope you get to that point with yours - sounds like he's making life hell for you - try to bear in mind, I'm convinced he's just got a hormone problem at the end of the day, he's ill, and it's not his fault, he just needs to be made well somehow.
Big hugs!

Hi Alekto! Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. Glad to hear things are better for you! Finn doesn't attack every time we walk or ever attacked my head, thank goodness! I cant imagine that! Finn was neutered on the last week of Nov. 2012. So that is almost 7 months ago. I have tried both Feliway items and also calming sprays and chews. Nothing works. Ive also tried grabbing him by his scruff. When he was younger this was easier to do and he would eventually go limp but now he doesn't give in. He manages to resist by pushing his back legs off on your arm or wiggles around like crazy til you just let go. We also tried time outs. Since we live in a one bedroom apartment, we have to put him in the bathroom or the bedroom and he throws fits. As I've mentioned earlier the bathroom is somewhere he cant be left alone or he will urinate in the sink and claw at our towels and toilet paper. Even when we did try the short time outs, he just went right back to what he was doing. Last night, he flipped over his travel water bowl and rolled around in the spilled water. Yes, hes now found a way to flip over this bowl too! Water went everywhere. So I took his bowl and left it in the sink in hopes that he will forget about it for a bit. I refilled it a few minutes later. He went on to his litter box and kicked around litter for about 5 minutes and right back putting his paws in to the water bowl. I am sure Dexter loves to find litter in his fresh water! But later before sleep, Finn hopped on the bed and sat on my chest and purred. I was in love all over again. I just never know when hes going to be lovey and then bite out of nowhere. Most of the time when he comes at me purring he will eventually have enough and walk away and sit by my feet and rest his head. Then he will gently hug my foot and take a lick at a toe and out of nowhere chomp down like it is a piece of chicken. I cant understand why after almost a year of doing that and making me yelp, he continues to do it. At those times its not even like hes being malicious. As if he thinks he can just sit down n chew on my foot, sock on or off like its a dog bone. At first I thought maybe he is teething but he has all of his adult teeth for a while now. Hes so darn crazy, hes already broken the tip off of his adult incisor on God knows what!

I'm afraid I can't be of much help. One other deterrent to consider is a whistle. Since cats have such sensitive hearing they hate the sound, and it's easy to keep it on your person. All I have to do now is slightly blow into it and the cat stops what he's doing and darts off. Good luck, and I really hope things get better!

I would recommend the My Cat From Hell videos. Jackson has dealt with many cats doing the same things you're talking about and worse. One cat would hump a stuffed animal. His first thoughts were that the vet missed an undecended testicle, which turned out to not be the case. He had no testosterone in his blood.

Do your cats have a place to play vertically? That is a reoccuring solution, another is putting a harness on the cat and taking for walks.

Best of luck solving the issues.

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Originally Posted by Joey525

sit by my feet and rest his head. Then he will gently hug my foot and take a lick at a toe and out of nowhere chomp down like it is a piece of chicken. I cant understand why after almost a year of doing that and making me yelp, he continues to do it. At those times its not even like hes being malicious. As if he thinks he can just sit down n chew on my foot, sock on or off like its a dog bone.

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yup, again I'm with you there, Neevie used to do exactly the same thing....
As Brims advised, have a look at my cat from hell videos and see what works for you?

I watch the show on Animal Planet and Ive seen most of the episodes. The majority of the time the issue with the cats are that they are bored and need to be played with. I've seen episodes where the cat was seeing other cats outside and attacking their owner. This isn't the case with Finn. Playing with him seems to provoke the wild behavior. My cats have two cat towers and I also have cat clouds creating steps on our walls. They spend a lot of time up sleeping there. I swear this cat can read my mind. Since I've created this thread , hes been following me around circling my legs and purring when I am home. Last night he slept in our bed and cuddled with me this morning. Unbelievable, I haven't seen one fit since I posted this thread. Then again, I didn't cook last night so we didn't have our usual fight over the counter space. We will see what happens tonight!

Joey,
It is like when your car is making a noise and you bring it to the shop and it stops! I am blessed with a wonderful little girl that is a angel. Hopefully what ever is going on, resolves itself soon. My daughter's cat, is a handful and she is lucky her mom loves her! She hisses and bites and she is 5 years old. She may have not stayed with her mom long enough. I picked Ginger up at 11 weeks so she was well adjusted and the breeder had a bunch of grand children around to handle the kittens. Good luck with Finn I hope he becomes a gentle giant!

Joey525 you are not alone in your plight. I'd swear you were talking about our Whiskey. He does the same as Finn. We faithfully watch My Cat From Hell and we swear Whiskey is a Hellish cat. I'll be standing somewhere and all of a sudden Whiskey will come over to me with his ears back, back hunched up, then leap off the ground onto my head digging his claws into my face & neck to keep from falling off all the while he's biting into my scalp. Talk about painful and bloody. My blood that is. Anyway, haven't figured out how to stop that habit.

He loves to drown his toys in the water too. He will splash the water about and dump his water bowl out. I think he loves to watch the water move across the floor. MC's are fascinated by water. Look around on this forum as some have mentioned great non-spill water bowls.

Some people baby-proof their house. We've cat-proofed our home. Nothing is on our shelves as Whiskey would knock anything and all things off. Curtains & shades are left pulled back or in the up position to keep out of his reach. We cannot leave beverage glasses out anywhere as he'll knock them over to get to the liquid.

Whiskey is a chef, against our wishes, watching up close & personal everything that gets chopped, tossed into pan or pot, etc. He has to be right there while you're preparing a meal.

I hope that Finn calms down and leaves both you & Dexter alone other then to show cuddles to. I wish you all the best.

It may be very daft, but I am quite sure Neevie and I have started bonding more since I talk to her... I talk to her most when she's a good girl, when we have a cuddle, when she eats - I tell her nonsense, how pretty she is, what a good girl she is, I try to make her associate my voice with good things.

On the other hand, when she's bad I ignore her, I just don't talk to her - if she's very bad I just pick her up without a word and dump her in another room, the bathroom for example, Joey. If she pees in the sink so be it, it's a sink, you can just clean it with bleach... If she tries to interrupt my cooking I lock her out of the kitchen, still without a word, calmly. If she kicks off in the living room as a result, it's straight to time out in the bathroom. She hates when I ignore her.

The key seems to be consistency, and also ensure that GOOD behaviour is rewarded by whatever he likes, and reinforced by your voice, and bad behaviour means you ignore him, he is not there, you just dump the nuisance cat somewhere where he can't be such a bother - just for a little while, time for you to do what you have to do...

Once again, I do not profess to be an expert, I am not saying it will work with yours, but that's what I did and Neevie is better now... and I don't know if that's what did the trick, I just notice that her getting better seems to coincide with starting this approach...

Neevie hasn't been in time out for at least 1 and a half months - she used to be there at least twice a day at one point. I just hope my experience can help you.

I am so sorry I cant offer any advise, but you have had some really good replies. I hope things get better for you soon x

I found this article, which may help; https://www.bluecross.org.uk/1957-27...sive-cats.html Alekto- it mentions that hand rearing can cause agression so hopefully may give you a liitle insight into your piratical coon's head!
It is from a local cat charity- Joey, is there a cat charity near you that can offer some advice on Finn's behaviour?

Sidney went through an very aggressive stage too when he was little, time out and being ignored seemed to be his worst fear so we used it against him shamelessly. He was scruffed and dumped, all in silence, and left until the humans were able to bear him again. A few weeks in, he was neutered. He then slowly improved over the next few months.

Taking him out for walks helped a lot - the mental stimulation seemed to make him very tired and half an hour outside saved two hours with Da Bird indoors. Try Mynwood Cat Jackets - cheap and very effective. Now we have Sidney-proofed the garden (Felisafe fencing) so he can go in and out at will - he is now being very pleasant to live with, although he is massacring the butterfly population....