More issues with Merlin: Separation anxiety

I had a chiro appt and physical therapy and needed to rest yesterday. I closed the bedroom door because I didn't want to be pestered. Merlin proceeded to claw violently at the door and howl at the top of his lungs. He wakes us at night, and he rubbed his nose in my eye which promptly became red and swollen after. I don't know how to help him overcome his fears and I am getting stressed by his constant need for attention. He will sit on my lap forever if I let him, when he sleeps with us he's under the covers between us or on my pillow, and then he wakes up because he wants me to pet him and talk to him. If we refuse or boot him off he cries and howls. He's such a sweet and loving cat but its almost obsessive. He has mommy and daddy, three kids and three other cats to play with, but it's never enough and he can't stand to be away from me. I'm going nuts help!!!!!!

hopefully it will get better with time, and I see from other post that you have added some feliway to the house? it definitely helps mine, and it's supposed to be good for their anxiety...

I am not sure if it helps, because I don't know the level he's at, but here's what I did with mine - I let her cry when she cried but opened the door when she stopped - she soon caught up and now she doesn't cry at all to be let in. Also, as far as Neevie was concerned, it was more "how much can I get away with" kind of thing - but it seems Merin does suffer from real anxiety.

See how feliway goes - then may be start that method after a few weeks? (remember feliway takes time to act) the trick however is to be very constant. NEVER open when he howls, ONLY ever open when he's quiet. (in Neevie's case it meant having to stay behind the door when I wanted to go out, waiting for her to quiet down...) :facepalm:

I got a Feliway plug-in and used the rest of the Feliway spray I had from when we went through this with Sampson. Merlin has occasionally been pooping outside the box and yesterday I discovered a fresh puddle of pee in the laundry room. I cleaned that with enzyme cleaner and sprayed the Feliway.
The areas Merlin is marking are the same ones Sampson used to mark, so I think this is a turf war. They had a violent fight not too long ago, but things have been quiet since.
Merlin is your typical abused and neglected shelter cat. Despite this he is very sweet and affectionate, but he is not secure in his home yet. DH is planning to build some perches for the walls and windows, mainly for the girls but I think the extra vertical space will help everyone relax more.
I've been trying to spend more time with Merlin and encouraging the kids to play with him more. He woke me at 4:30 and 6am this morning as usual, but I made him wait until I got up at 8 for breakfast. He didnt seem hungry and barely touched his food, he just wants attention!
I've had success with Feliway in the past, but most of the success with Sampson's issues were solved by allowing him to be an indoor-outdoor cat. We are waiting until spring to let Merlin explore outside. I'm hesitant to do this because he is older and has no teeth to defend himself with, and he seems to get confused sometimes. But if it helps him feel more "in charge" of things then its a risk I'm willing to take.

AAAAAAaaannnnnd.....Merlin just peed in the basement again. :sad2: We still need to get his ears checked out, and I think I will have the vet run a urinalysis just to be careful. I hope this isn't something else.
Part of the howling happens in the basement....right before he does his "business"....
I love my cat...I love my cat...I love my cat....