Thread: Not very affectionate

Hello all,
I've finally got my mainecoon baby after years if persuading the hubby. Other than being a beautiful looking cat the other reason why I've wanted one for so long is because of their personality . My baby is 4 month old, very playful and very social (constantly chirping for attention and to be played with) but he is not very affectionate. He doesn't particularly like being picked up or stroked. He will only have a good stroke and sit on me for about ten minutes at bedtime before he will jump down. Nearly everything I read about this breed talks about their affectionate character. Now, I do know his hormones have already kicked in because he keeps trying his luck with my old (spayed) moggy. Do you think he might become more loving once he has been neutered and less raging hormones?

it is not typical of the breed per se but all cats are different - my Neevie was also affectionate in her own (rare) terms and was actually often agressive - a bit worrying when a still growing 5 kilo cat decides it's a good idea to jump on your head and poke holes in it with her teeth, you do tend to wonder what's in store for you down the line when she gets to 6 kilos... -
not sure if the spaying is what did the trick or just age, it did take some time, but she is much much better now.... She is 3 years old and now I pick her up and she starts purring, she stays in my arms, she comes often demanding cuddles...
Obviously, being a female, and spayed just at the wrong time of her cycle, the hormones took quite some time to drain out of her body, so may be once you get YOUR furry done it hopefully will take less time for him...

I agree with Alekto, they all have their own personalities. My girl Ginger, is just a year old and spayed. She has always been a very affectionate kitten. She was raised around small children who handled her quite a bit when she was very young. She loves to cuddle me, but only on her terms. If she comes to me for cuddles, all's good. If I seek her out and pick her up, she will struggle to get down and walk or run away. They are definitely their own cats. So give the little guy some time. Male cats are generally more laid back then females. I think he will come around.

I'm having the same issue. I have a 9 mos. old male who is funny and playful, but not affectionate. He will seek me out over my husband and seems to want to be with me, but he doesn't head butt, won't sit on my lap, doesn't purr unless I brush the back of his neck (which I gladly do)...so what's up with this kitty? I'm hoping as others have said that he will get better as he gets older, but I'm worried. I adore him and only want him to love me back.

give it time - I know 9 months seems like a lot of time, but mine is 3 years old and started getting affectionate at around 2 and a half - and then again it has to be in her own terms for now. Talk to them, get them used to being brushed and picked up - mine likes to be picked up and carried on the shoulder, "fireman style" for some reason... which is handy given her size... - do you sit down and watch tv or read a lot? if so, when you do, have a blanket that is their special blanket. Mine hates fleece, I think the static stings her every time, so if she sees a fleece jumper or anything fleece-like she just won't come. I have a wool blanket that I cover myself with to watch tv when it's a bit cold, now that's the business. If she sees it, she'll wait impatiently for me to place it properly on my lap (well, sometimes ... ) and then boom she's there. She hates when I build fire - I don't know what's with that, when I build the fire she meows and tries to attract me away from the chimney... - but she loves it when there is a good fire in the chiminey, so if there's one, and I'm lying on the couch watching tv, she'll be there too. Since I started talking to her and playing with her, I'm bonding more with her now also - she'll come more and more often for cuddles... - In other words, she's not ALWAYS affectionate, but she's getting there.

Our last moggy was a real lap cat and Sidney simply isn't. He will be in the same room as us (follows me everywhere) but just needs his own "personal space".
Seeing as he's getting quite heavy, this isn't the end of the world for me! At bedtime, he comes and pads on us, then needs a head rub and a good stroke and lies on the bed till the lights go out, then he heads off to sleep on the carpet. I can't help but appreciate having space to roll over without being attacked for disturbing the cat!
We have noticed recently that he is starting to join us on the sofa and has a couple of times jumped up onto a lap for a few moments, so maybe things are changing? He will be 2 in 2 months and was neutered at 7 months.