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The spare room is out of bounds, we keep it this way so guests can stay in a fluff-free environment. I request that you please not stalk me and wait quietly outside the door when I am in there, and please do not sprint into the room and under the bed the second that I open the door!
:rofl: One of the funniest and most knowing threads I have read, I need to add my own - not that the little so and so will listen/read of course!
1 - Laptops and desktops are ours, they are not your personal communication tool, warm bed nor gizmo for making strange beeping noises.
2 - The spare room is the one fluff free area of the house, it is NOT your job to change that, please refrain from sneaking in there.
3 - Cups of tea require 'dregs' to be left - they are not left for you to drink, honestly, even if there is no need to leave a bit in the bottom for the 'leaves' anymore - you have your foibles, this is one of ours.
4 - The dogs have unfortunately short tails, it is not their fault, but they do not need them making shorter by you considering them your own personal play thing.
5 - That pretty table in the living room is a valuable antique and much cherished, it is NOT the designated feline play area, especially when you get your claws busy.
6 - Food labelled 'Kitten' is for the kitten, food labelled 'Cat' is for the adults, please stop confusing the two. On the same subject, the food labelled 'dog' is nothing to do with any of you!
7 - Our bed is exactly that - ours - it was expensive, again, it is not your personal play area, OR scratching post - you have several of your own. We also prefer the duvet and throw to actually be on it, not next to it.
8 - I promise, I never leave food, toys or anything else of any feline interest in my handbags, camera bags or briefcases, there is no need for you to keep checking on this.
9 - Vases of flowers are a romantic gesture, not an additional food source, nor a thing to be scattered across the hall floor.
10 - the television is for our viewing pleasure, as to some extent are you, but the two do not mix well, we can only see one at a time, sitting infront of it is not adorable and cute.
11 - you have a litter tray, it is huge, it can't be that difficult to try and ensure your backside is actually in it before using.
12 - that pile of clothes is laundry, not an area for some strategic fur relocation
13 - I appreciate you don't like wine, knocking empty wine glasses off tables will not stop us drinking it - ditto the glass dish for human sweeties, the box that held chocolates, and coffee mugs.
14 - Finally, when there is an odd lump under a blanket or throw, it is nearly always a dog, there is no need to keep walking across it, several times, to see how loud the grumbles get!
I could go on all night.... Good job we love them to bits! :LOL:
Oh yes to 8 & 10!!
Love it, that's Toby down to a T lol
Great thread, and I love the extensive list above. Can I add one of my own?
No 35,402 - the wardrobe is for storing my clothes and shoes, not for you to sneak in when I didn't realise you were in the room, make yourself comfortable amongst my shoe boxes, then hammer on the door to be let out 2 hours later when I am alone in the house and think I'm being burgled.
this brilliant , dont know how i missed it before - my two do so many of those things
i am not really a cat love and i get annoyed by them easily but then when my sister got herself one then i had no choice but to live with a cat in the house so i really set some rules for her to make sure that the cat does not cross my line and we wont have any misunderstanding regarding the cat around the house, these are very good ones and i saw some that i would love to add to my list!
The fridge does not open by itself- no matter how long you sit in front of it & howl
The white things in the bathroom jar are not for you to bring downstairs & play with when we have visitors- it is very embarrassing having to explain to a child what you are throwing around the room.
When I am asleep, my face is not your personal seat & my hair does not require brushing.
Every cardboard box in the house, be it full or empty, does not belong to you.
oh, & last, but definately not least- chocolate limes are not a stable cat diet.
1 The four poster bed is not a large climbing frame.
If you and your brother must play suicide jumps from the top of it please make sure I am not still in bed first.
2 Silver I know that you are only 10 months old but 7.5 kilos of cat racing around the house non stop is dangerous
3 Nero carrying full size toilet rolls around the house is not on however cool you think it makes you look .
4 Do not go out in the garden just because it has just started raining and if you must please stay out untill you are dry and do not come in and immeadiately jump on me.
5 Equally please do not get in the bath while it has still got water in it.
6 It is not compulsory to visit the litter try every time it has just been changed especially if you are just going to try to empty it without actually using it.
7 do not throw yourself at the netting just because another cat or fox is in the garden the other side of it.
I love this thread! I have been howling with laughter at some of these!
Dear Roark
(1) Opening the fridge is not an invitation for you to jump into it. You will not find Narnia at the back.
(2) When I am putting food into your bowl, please do not stick you head right into the tin/bowl which has the effect of putting the food all over the kitchen counter.
(3) I do not need help washing the dishes. When you scurry under my arms and climb into the sink it does not help.
(4) When I am dressing the bed it is not an invitation for you to come and nap under all the blankets and duvet.
(5) When you jump on the bed in the middle of the night it is not necessary to jump onto me. There is open space on the other side where you can jump.
(6) When I am cleaning your poo bum I am not trying to torture you, I am trying to help you. Same goes for brushing you.
(7) And when I brush you and throw your fur in the bin, you do not need to topple the bin over to get to your fur and then play with it. It is not a toy.
(8) You do not need to hide raw food in your snuggle tunnel. No-one steals your food. Ever.
(9) When I leave my spot on the couch I did not make it warm so that you can jump down and sleep there. It is my spot.
(10) You are not a big boy yet, you are still my baby. So I will carry you and cuddle you and you do not need to cry.
Just because the tissue count is low in the tissue box doesn't mean it is now your play toy. Please stop shoving you head inside the box and then shaking it off onto the floor to only do it again & again. Trust me when I say that I still need the box to hold the remaining tissues that I'm using while I have a head cold.
Be nice with the dog
http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r.../Photo1654.jpgD
Don't mess with water inside the house
http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r.../Photo2880.jpg
Have a chair and wait politely
http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r.../Photo1880.jpg
http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r.../Photo1885.jpg
Now you may eat
Dear humanz, on behalf of Maine-Coon-kind
We readed your pesky rules and decided to ignore them.
Sincerely
Neevie-Coon, delegate.
:rofl:
I totally agree, I am going to do my yoga
http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r.../Photo2823.jpg
Doing my yoga too.....
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This has to be one of the best threads... How lucky are we to have these little characters in our lives to keep us laughing!
It was brilliant reading through this thread again & would just like to say to Wellynton Boots please could you stop rearranging my hair into a punk style,what with the gloop he adds by licking it & the super points he manages to achieve it makes me look like mutton dressed as lamb........& frightens anyone who may appear at the door & you have forgotten what he has done !!!
Hve just read through this thread and OMG what have i let myself in for !!! lol Such wonderful cats to they are making me so glad that finally a MC is going to be in my life !
Since it's brought up again..
-I do not need a hair stylist between 3am-4am while I'm sleeping (was sleeping).
-Having a scalp massage with acupuncture is wonderful, but the acupuncture becomes too painful when your nails need to be clipped.
-Grabbing apples off the counter and pushing them around the tile floor is not going to make the tiles shine any brighter.
-Rubbing the flat screen TV with both front paws whilst it's on will not make a genie appear to grant you wishes.
-Trust me, no matter how many times you try to jump, head first, onto the shelf behind the glass door, you will fail.
-Hanging onto the Swifter sweeper while I'm cleaning the floor doesn't really help clean rid the floor of fluff. You are actually leaving more fluff while being dragged around behind it.
-Stop sitting under the recliner while it's stretched out as humans tend to close it not knowing you're there.
hahahahaha! really!? need pictures or even better a video!Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsMom
I'll work on that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alekto
We spent a lot of money buying you very nice modern educating and entertaining cat toys - this means that when bored you should go play with those and not sit beside me crying for me to throw you a scrunched up paper ball, especially when I am on the phone with a client. I will not do that any more. OK one more time but then I'll only do it a few more times and that's it.
Just because I open the bedroom door it is not your queue to squeeze through and sneak under the bed.
You are not allowed to stay all night in bed with me. When the male-human-slave comes into the bedroom kindly do not go hide under the bed where he can't find you then jump back on with a satisfied smirk when he's given up trying to catch you and has started snoring.
You are heavy and I do need to move at night. At least kindly make an effort to be lighter so the circulation in my legs doesn't get cut. And wake up when I shake you to turn around. And stop hogging the blanket.
May be you should learn to turn the water tap yourself after all - going back and forth to the kitchen when you call for a drink is not manageable. At least try to drink from your bowl from time to time, the water is always fresh there and really does come from the same source.
Just because I open a pack of chicken breasts does not mean it's for you. Anyway it needs to be cooked first, then cooled down, so there is no point staying in my legs demanding Sheekan-now-now-now for half an hour.
If I say "what!?" it means I don't understand what you're demanding. You can stop meowing at me, and running away as soon as I approach. I-DO-NOT-UNDERSTAND! Here, have a paper ball.
Well I never got a chance to video Whiskey sliding around while holding onto Swifter. He's gotten too heavy and the cloth just tears right off when he grabs it.
Have to add another rule: Stay away from my Starbucks! I really don't need the top of my straw flattened as I like to gulp the stuff. Adding kitty slobber to the straw doesn't enhance the flavor either.
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mmmmm straaawwww.... yummyyyyy! :rofl:
When people come to visit, like Grandma, please be friendly and do not sit in a corner making the stink eye. (Mandy!)
I may be your "hoomin mommy" but kneading my neck with sharp claws may result in ejection from my lap. Likewise, licking and chewing or otherwise attempting to nurse any part of my body will not result in milk and will possibly give me hives. (Mandy!!)
Staring at me while I'm getting dressed is creepy. The sly "rrrowwwl" and purring that sometimes goes along with the stare is even worse. I really love my kitties, just not like that! (Merlin!)
If its below zero, you can't go outside and expect to be comfortable. Additionally, the temperature will not be magically 50 degrees higher in the next five minutes, or even the next five months for that matter-so stop checking. (Sampson!!)
You cannot fly, but I admire your self esteem and never-give-up spirit. (Rose!)
oh yeah, right up there with you about the flying! also trying to go through chair legs knocking them over in the process and spooking oneself too as they go bang unexpectedly when they fall.... you know.... more speed, less haste is what I says...
