Thread: Dear Cat, Some House Rules .....

My dad's bald head does not need 'washing' everytime he visits. His fingers aren't there for you to put in your mouth either
Our visitors don't need help to untie their laces
You don't need to pull the carpet up by the door - it doesn't make it open
You don't need to 'wash' the windows when you've dipped your paws into the sink
You can't catch the flies/birds/bats that are outside so stop trying
Don't run behind the TV and start chewing the cables just because we've sat down to eat and aren't paying you any attention!
The pictures on the walls do not need adjusting - they are straight

Originally Posted by Howlinbob
The waste-paper basket in my studio is supposed to be kept upright, not tipped on its side. (you know who you are...Larry)

Originally Posted by dave

LOL ! So it's not just Hank who does this then either.... No bin is safe in this house, i've considered nailing them to floor... he goes hunting through them looking for muffin cases

Rasputin does it too...

The white Egyptian cotton sheets on the bed do not need to be decorated with poo-footprints. Whilst I appreciate your artistic endeavours, I would prefer my bedding to be 'poo-free'. This also applies to my pillow. Please do not sneak up in the night, undercover of darkness, and wipe your feet on it. Thank you and goodnight!

Originally Posted by Wendy1969

The white Egyptian cotton sheets on the bed do not need to be decorated with poo-footprints. Whilst I appreciate your artistic endeavours, I would prefer my bedding to be 'poo-free'. This also applies to my pillow. Please do not sneak up in the night, undercover of darkness, and wipe your feet on it. Thank you and goodnight!

This should also apply to the multitudinous white window sills...

We have no idea how he gets it there but not on the carpet!

ooh what a great thread. Must join in

1.it is not a good idea to hide your toy mouse in the litter tray even if you don't want your sister to find it.
2.it is not easy for humans to clear our litter trays with a coonie attached non too firmly to their back
3.the said human would also remind you (Noah this is aimed at you) that human skin is fragile and does not enjoy having a coonie attempt to cling onto it after 4. that same kitty has launched himself from the top of the stairs onto the humans bare back - ouch!
4.The tops of doors are not really wide enough to attempt to walk on
5.there is nothing but a long drop the other side of the staircase, so please remember that next time you attempt a leap at the banister and fly over it instead of landing on it.
6. It is very difficult for a human to walk down the stairs safely whilst a kitty is attempting to wrap herself around the feet as they move
7. Human males do not appreciate having their toes bitten whilst asleep.
8. The reasons for toilet rolls existence is not so that they can be unraveled and draped down the stairs
9. Your Mummy loves you loads and its all ok really!

Dearest Cats,

We honestly really do love you loads and you would not be you without your little personaliy traits. Sharing them just shows how much we love and appreciate you.

Love your Slaves xxx


Ok Budz I've applogised please stop with the puppy eyes and guilt trip. You can stop searching the fridge as there is no more ham, chicken or cheese in it. I will go shopping tomorrow I promise. And NO your not totally forgiven and we still need to talk about your behavior lol go ahad be youself cos you know full well I will let you get away with murder xxx

Out of interest, has this thread got the record for likes or is that little heart at the top in need of surgery pmsl xxxx

Another heart joins the thread,how could you not like this thread,it is just so "cooniefied"...x

You don't need to pull the carpet up by the door - it doesn't make it open

JanieB - this is so true! Why oh why do they think that it does?

Just a few more rules for Buddy (Millie needs no rules as she is an angel - who's wings fell off and she used her halo to play frisbee)

(For MickB and Peter) archery is a no no, leave all equipment alone.

The windows have a built in locking mechanism, even a joint 45lb MC attempt will not make them open any further, I have the key and your not getting it.

You are banned from having pets living in your fur!!!!

Two coonies is not double trouble its about ten fold and you two are small, compared to me, if my larger than yours rear end can levitate somewhere near the bed as you take up so much room I am sure your tails, paws etc can do the same. In other words shift x

Please refrain from hiding my glasses as night, this might seem funny but who will laugh when you get Pedigree Chum for breakfast?

BTW the new kitten is not a chew toy!