Thread: Dear Cat, Some House Rules .....

..... please observe them (as if)

The toilet is neither a water bowl, a swimming pool or a cat bed, please keep out / off it. Refusing to get out of the toilet when I need to use it is another big no no.

The kitchen is not self service. I will feed you regularly there is no need for you to help yourself. Also as you have learnt to open the fridge would you mind learning to close it again please.

My dinner plate is not an extention of your food bowl. I don't put my hands in your food so would appreciate your not putting your paws in mine.

It is actually my bed, I don't mind sharing but would appreciate some room. Stealing pillows and attempting to dig through the quilt are not acceptable behaviour. Dropping toys on me as I attempt to sleep should be avoided. I have a perfectly good alarm clock it is not necessary for you to swipe at my nose when you think I should get up.

Any household item that should have water in it should not have a cat in it. This includes sinks, baths, buckets etc.

Just because I go in the kitchen does not automatically mean you are going to get fed.

Your presents in my shoes are not necessary.

I am imposing a speed limit inside the house. There is no need to run everywhere at top speed. 20lb of cat thumping into your legs does actually hurt a lot.

The mop is not a cat toy.

It is normal to walk on top of the stairs not climb the underside swiping at ankles.

Balancing on top of the tv with your tail covering half the screen is no longer funny.

Anyone coming to the door it not necessarily the enemy and does not have to be hissed at.

Feel free to add. ...

To add:

My toes and other extremities are not edible.

If you lie across the stair I am about to step on, covering it with your enormous length, then I will not be able to proceed further down the stairs and you will not be fed.

Baths are good for you, smelly cat.

When the alarm goes off I need to switch it off not pat your head
My hair bands and clips are for my hair not for hiding under the freezer
I may win on the lottery some day so please do not think the ticket is yours by right
The wardrobe is where I keep my clothes away from your hair, not somewhere for you to sleep

Oops I forgot an important one.................
Tissues are not for shredding

Please stop trying to prove me wrong when i tell you that the curtain poles are not designed to take the weight of a fully grown Maine Coon.....
If I leave the delivery of cat food unattended for a few minutes, please do not "help" me by opening them (at the bottom of the bag...with your claws)
I would rather you didn't rename the icons on my PC desktop ue98fdhflkdsludfi998908poijjjjj'df'hhhhhhhhhhhheuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
Your kibbles really hurt when i stand on them in bare feet, so if you could leave them in your food bowl i would really appreciate it.
Your little toy mouse is already dead, please stop trying to drown it in the water fountain.

The two settees we now own were not both intended for cats the intention was that at least one of us had somewhere to sit.
The baskets in the kitchen units are not new scratching posts.
The flowers in the back garden were put in those place intentionally.
Furballs do not have to be ejected either in the middle of the bed or halfway down hall where bare feet find them,in your own room please.
Shopping bag is heavy enough on way home without added weight before we start.
Plus just about everything else posted here,how many of us sat nodding heads as we read through feeling very pleased that others out there who belong to MC's suffer the same daily problems...x

Love it, that's Toby down to a T lol

Great thread, and I love the extensive list above. Can I add one of my own?

No 35,402 - the wardrobe is for storing my clothes and shoes, not for you to sneak in when I didn't realise you were in the room, make yourself comfortable amongst my shoe boxes, then hammer on the door to be let out 2 hours later when I am alone in the house and think I'm being burgled.

this brilliant , dont know how i missed it before - my two do so many of those things

When people come to visit, like Grandma, please be friendly and do not sit in a corner making the stink eye. (Mandy!)

I may be your "hoomin mommy" but kneading my neck with sharp claws may result in ejection from my lap. Likewise, licking and chewing or otherwise attempting to nurse any part of my body will not result in milk and will possibly give me hives. (Mandy!!)

Staring at me while I'm getting dressed is creepy. The sly "rrrowwwl" and purring that sometimes goes along with the stare is even worse. I really love my kitties, just not like that! (Merlin!)

If its below zero, you can't go outside and expect to be comfortable. Additionally, the temperature will not be magically 50 degrees higher in the next five minutes, or even the next five months for that matter-so stop checking. (Sampson!!)

You cannot fly, but I admire your self esteem and never-give-up spirit. (Rose!)