Thread: Dear Cat, Some House Rules .....

One of the funniest and most knowing threads I have read, I need to add my own - not that the little so and so will listen/read of course!

1 - Laptops and desktops are ours, they are not your personal communication tool, warm bed nor gizmo for making strange beeping noises.

2 - The spare room is the one fluff free area of the house, it is NOT your job to change that, please refrain from sneaking in there.

3 - Cups of tea require 'dregs' to be left - they are not left for you to drink, honestly, even if there is no need to leave a bit in the bottom for the 'leaves' anymore - you have your foibles, this is one of ours.

4 - The dogs have unfortunately short tails, it is not their fault, but they do not need them making shorter by you considering them your own personal play thing.

5 - That pretty table in the living room is a valuable antique and much cherished, it is NOT the designated feline play area, especially when you get your claws busy.

6 - Food labelled 'Kitten' is for the kitten, food labelled 'Cat' is for the adults, please stop confusing the two. On the same subject, the food labelled 'dog' is nothing to do with any of you!

7 - Our bed is exactly that - ours - it was expensive, again, it is not your personal play area, OR scratching post - you have several of your own. We also prefer the duvet and throw to actually be on it, not next to it.

8 - I promise, I never leave food, toys or anything else of any feline interest in my handbags, camera bags or briefcases, there is no need for you to keep checking on this.

9 - Vases of flowers are a romantic gesture, not an additional food source, nor a thing to be scattered across the hall floor.

10 - the television is for our viewing pleasure, as to some extent are you, but the two do not mix well, we can only see one at a time, sitting infront of it is not adorable and cute.

11 - you have a litter tray, it is huge, it can't be that difficult to try and ensure your backside is actually in it before using.

12 - that pile of clothes is laundry, not an area for some strategic fur relocation

13 - I appreciate you don't like wine, knocking empty wine glasses off tables will not stop us drinking it - ditto the glass dish for human sweeties, the box that held chocolates, and coffee mugs.

14 - Finally, when there is an odd lump under a blanket or throw, it is nearly always a dog, there is no need to keep walking across it, several times, to see how loud the grumbles get!

I could go on all night.... Good job we love them to bits!

Oh yes to 8 & 10!!

Love it, that's Toby down to a T lol

Great thread, and I love the extensive list above. Can I add one of my own?

No 35,402 - the wardrobe is for storing my clothes and shoes, not for you to sneak in when I didn't realise you were in the room, make yourself comfortable amongst my shoe boxes, then hammer on the door to be let out 2 hours later when I am alone in the house and think I'm being burgled.

this brilliant , dont know how i missed it before - my two do so many of those things

i am not really a cat love and i get annoyed by them easily but then when my sister got herself one then i had no choice but to live with a cat in the house so i really set some rules for her to make sure that the cat does not cross my line and we wont have any misunderstanding regarding the cat around the house, these are very good ones and i saw some that i would love to add to my list!

The fridge does not open by itself- no matter how long you sit in front of it & howl
The white things in the bathroom jar are not for you to bring downstairs & play with when we have visitors- it is very embarrassing having to explain to a child what you are throwing around the room.
When I am asleep, my face is not your personal seat & my hair does not require brushing.
Every cardboard box in the house, be it full or empty, does not belong to you.
oh, & last, but definately not least- chocolate limes are not a stable cat diet.

1 The four poster bed is not a large climbing frame.
If you and your brother must play suicide jumps from the top of it please make sure I am not still in bed first.

2 Silver I know that you are only 10 months old but 7.5 kilos of cat racing around the house non stop is dangerous

3 Nero carrying full size toilet rolls around the house is not on however cool you think it makes you look .

4 Do not go out in the garden just because it has just started raining and if you must please stay out untill you are dry and do not come in and immeadiately jump on me.

5 Equally please do not get in the bath while it has still got water in it.

6 It is not compulsory to visit the litter try every time it has just been changed especially if you are just going to try to empty it without actually using it.

7 do not throw yourself at the netting just because another cat or fox is in the garden the other side of it.

I love this thread! I have been howling with laughter at some of these!

Dear Roark

(1) Opening the fridge is not an invitation for you to jump into it. You will not find Narnia at the back.

(2) When I am putting food into your bowl, please do not stick you head right into the tin/bowl which has the effect of putting the food all over the kitchen counter.

(3) I do not need help washing the dishes. When you scurry under my arms and climb into the sink it does not help.

(4) When I am dressing the bed it is not an invitation for you to come and nap under all the blankets and duvet.

(5) When you jump on the bed in the middle of the night it is not necessary to jump onto me. There is open space on the other side where you can jump.

(6) When I am cleaning your poo bum I am not trying to torture you, I am trying to help you. Same goes for brushing you.

(7) And when I brush you and throw your fur in the bin, you do not need to topple the bin over to get to your fur and then play with it. It is not a toy.

(8) You do not need to hide raw food in your snuggle tunnel. No-one steals your food. Ever.

(9) When I leave my spot on the couch I did not make it warm so that you can jump down and sleep there. It is my spot.

(10) You are not a big boy yet, you are still my baby. So I will carry you and cuddle you and you do not need to cry.