Problem with rescue cat

**Howlinbob** · 12th August 2010, 04:09 PM

Hi everyone, thought I'd give you an update on Humph. Well really it's been one step forward and two steps back over the last couple of weeks. We have even got a possible new home pencilled in for him - my mother-in-law's neighbour whose cat died a couple of months ago - she is retired and lives alone although her family visits from time to time. So one person and no other cats. She has a big suburban garden and a cat flap, so plenty of space and easy access. She cooks fresh liver for her cat (she passed on the frozen portions to us when her cat departed). She's on holiday so would be getting a new cat next month when she comes back. If Humph went there we would still hear about him from my mother-in-law and might even see him around when we visit. The head says, Humph would love it there and we'll all be happier. But then Humph comes in, doesn't swear at anyone, and sits down under the table for an hour, and so then the heart says, he's making progress, and we can't part with him!! We have been agonising over this.

However, an interesting thing has started to happen. I am looking after my friend's jack russell terrier this week (Eric!), which I quite often do. Eric is a very nice old lad and a good boy. When Humph asks to come in for his food, he sees Eric, who just stands there wagging his tail, and Humph hesitates. He doesn't panic and run, he just stands on the doorstep, tail swishing, and you can see him thinking, shall I come in or not? The other cats are milling about around Eric, and Humph (so far) has decided to stay in the garden. Then when I'm at work all day (taking Eric with me), Humph has been coming into the kitchen to get his food, but his manners have suddenly improved. Instead of being on edge/hostile, he does the friendly dance around hubby, which up until now you would only ever get in the garden. Can it be that he's thinking, 'great, the dog's not here, and these cats don't seem half as bad by comparison'.

Eric is staying for a week, so fingers crossed Humph will turn a corner! I was worried that having Eric here would put Humph back even more, but it looks like it's bringing him on!

By the way, OH suggested that another cause of Humph's stress might be because the Criminals are unneutered, so they might have a particularly challenging smell to Humph? So when I get them 'done', this might also help?

**Karena** · 12th August 2010, 05:22 PM

Oh dear what a hard decision you have to make. The new home does seem ideal for him and I'm sure you would have peace of mind that he was happy there but I understand that parting is hard. In my opinion though I think you would be sensible to let him go. He may be going through a good patch now but like you said he has gone backwards before and if it happens next time you may regret not letting him go to such a nice home when you had the chance. At the end of the day it is only you that suffers - he will be fine and very happy ruling the roost I suspect. Good luck though.

**Rum Tum Tugger`s Mommy** · 12th August 2010, 05:29 PM

I agree with Karena.
The other home seems to be the best for Humph.

**jckkerrison** · 12th August 2010, 09:15 PM

Six penny worth coming in here,I also have to agree,it will be hard but you will know you have done the right thing by him when you get all those reports on how well he has settled...
Once your boys are nutered it doesn't necessarily mean that the threat would be removed,Merlyn was always head boy in our house but since the babes have had their bits removed Shimba has taken over being top cat,it hurt Merl to begin with but respects him now,Bruce is still not too happy but when we start to load them up to go to the cattery he deserts Merl & makes up to Shimba,my best friend !
No reasoning behind any of it but I am sure Humph will love being sole cat again.

**Howlinbob** · 12th August 2010, 09:58 PM

Thanks guys. I must admit I tend to agree with you, especially as the new home sounds great for him and we could still follow his progress. But I'm a bit better at saying 'Look, the head wins, let's go with the head!' than the OH, who is very much heart over head!!! After all, heart over head meant we kept Bob all those years ago, scraped him off the street, and heart over head meant we got Monty.... so hard....!

**Antonia** · 12th August 2010, 10:40 PM

I also think your mother-in-law's neighbour is the best option. As others have said, Humph will be the only cat and get lots of attention. Besides, if it doesn't work out with this lady you can always arrange to take him back. So you'll still have all your options open... the head option and the heart option.

**Linzi** · 13th August 2010, 08:53 AM

Hmm, I think Antonia might have hit on something there. Maybe you could let Humph go to the old lady on a trial basis for a couple of weeks to see how he gets on, but on the understanding you will take him back if it doesn't work out. That way you could give him the chance to see how he is as an only cat.

**Antonia** · 13th August 2010, 05:41 PM

You're welcome howlinbob. ;)
Please keep us posted on what you're going to do and how things turn out.

**Howlinbob** · 1st September 2010, 12:13 PM

Tonight my in-laws and their neighbour Ann are coming round to collect Humph.

Ann came back from holiday last week so we had to make a decision. After having 3 or 4 weeks to sleep on it, my feeling was that it would be the best thing for Humph long-term. In the end the OH agreed with me. But we both feel very sad about it. OH feels we have failed, but as I keep saying, we did get him out of the shelter and he has been very well cared for here. He's had a whale of a time terrorising the local wildlife and showing off to all the neighbours. And that's exactly what he's going to do in his new home. With a rescue cat you can never tell how it will work out. You don't know what they've been through.

In terms of his behaviour, we've seen no real improvement on balance. Outside, he's engaging, playful, hilarious, loves to show off and get in your way, nips and licks your fingers, follows you around, is generally full of joy. He comes in every day to eat but he either ignores the other cats, or runs at them spitting: it could go either way. Most of the time he makes warning growls at them. What we want is for Humph to be like he is outside, inside! If we had no other cats, he probably would be. I looked at Humph in the kitchen last night, he'd just had his dinner, the other 3 lads were sitting around, and Humph was pacing and grumbling and on edge. I just thought, he doesn't want to be part of the crew, and I don't think he ever will. We should stop fighting it.

The other issue for Humph is access. We are in the process of fully enclosing and cat-proofing our garden, but Humph is an alley cat who likes to come and go, and constantly survey his territory. This is incompatible with 3 confined house/garden cats. Humph may well want to come and go far more often than we notice at the moment.

Finally my mother-in-law said, when you eventually want to go away for the weekend, would you be happy about keeping Humph inside the house for 3-4 days with the others? No, we'd have to have him in a separate room to the others, and it would be a worry, as he'd hate it. It would be like going back to prison for him. I think this point tipped the balance for the OH.

In the end I just said, look, I think we'd be mad to let this great home for Humph slip through our fingers. We will still hear about him and see him occasionally. It's very lucky that this home has come up at all. We will miss him when he's gone, but we will be relieved as well. Larry, Monty, and Barney are a nice tight little crew, the babes have given the pensioner a new lease of life, and Humph will have a home which ticks all his little furry boxes.

Apparently Ann is 'very excited' about taking on Humph. She hasn't made any stipulations, or even seen a picture of him. She's just heard his story, and that's enough for her.

When I first posted about Humph, and you guys said 'rehome', I thought, hang on, that's a bit drastic. But it turns out you were right! Hard, hard decision though. Might be a bit teary later on...