Thread: What a morning!

**Warning - graphic content**

I was off work today and dared to have a lie-in until 8.30. All the cats usually sleep upstairs with us, so when I got up and noticed Larry and Herbie weren't about I knew it meant trouble. Sure enough, Herbie had managed to push the door to the living room open and Larry had followed. This door is fitted with a shutter, so the door had swung shut and the terrible twosome had shut themselves in the living room....where there is no litter tray. So I found a pile of dry turds in one corner, and a puddle in the other...which had seeped into the rug. At least it is a wooden floor.

I cleared up the mess from the floor and heaved the 8ft rug into the kitchen and soaked the corner in disinfectant. I fed the cats and let them out into the (enclosed) garden. Herbie came back in after not very long, leaving Larry and Monty outside. I worked on the rug and gave it a good few rinses. Then I had a coffee. Then I went outside to call the 2 lads in for second helpings of breakfast. No sign of them. They had escaped.

I didn't panic because this happens from time to time when Larry forces a hole in the netting, or when Monty manages a stealthy escape via some truly athletic tree-climbing. So I quickly got dressed and went looking. There is a very large abandoned garden 3 doors up which belongs to the University. It is padlocked and patrolled by security people every day, pending its sale. Whenever the lads go on the run, they go larking about in the 'secret garden', as it is known locally. One of the railings is missing so I can squeeze through and go looking for them if necessary. But this morning I stood in the street and called for them. After a while listening closely, I could hear Larry's distinctive howl. After a bit of call-and-response, I spotted him high up in a tree, 2 gardens away over the road. I trespassed into the neighbour's garden but the boundary wall is very high (up to my chin). Larry was about 10 feet away, pretending to be stuck up this tree. Then I heard some thrashing about and Monty appeared on the wall. He strolled past me but as the wall was so high I couldn't grab him. I decided to play it cool and wait for them to get bored. So I went back into my garden for a bit and examined the netting to see if I could find the escape hole, Larry howling at me from the tree all the while. The security guard was passing and I explained my cats were messing about in the secret garden up the trees, and he laughed and offered to let me in and get them back, but I said it's OK, they'll come home soon enough. (cool, huh?)

About half an hour later I went back over to the high wall and they were gone. Slightly worried now, I thought there's nothing for it but to go into the garden and look for them. So I squeezed through the railings, got stung by some nettles, trampled down a load of brambles, and tried to find where the big tree was. At least they weren't stuck up it (I knew Larry was having me on). They had to be in the garden somewhere, and they would be sticking together, I was certain. After a lot of traipsing around calling and jangling my keys, I spotted them quite nearby. They were pretending not to hear me, the rascals, but when they saw me their tails went up and they started showing off. Monty dashed back to the railings, leading the way, and Larry followed on behind, wailing like a big girl (wait for me!) They followed me back to our gate and I got them both inside the house.

I hadn't been able to find a hole in the netting, but then I checked the far wall, and laughed. Someone (er, Larry) had managed to actually push a pole so far that it had bent (a metal garden pole!) and the netting between the pole and the wall had completely come away, and was hanging down in a big triangle. So all they had to do was nip over the low wall and away. I spent a good half hour securing the area with lots of wire fastenings.

Job done, I went back inside to find a big pool of milk on the kitchen floor. Herbie!!!!!!!!